Dating later in life has its advantages

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Getting back into the dating game after decades of being off the market can be tough.

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People are increasingly divorcing later in life, and times have definitely changed since the last time they put themselves out there.

Not everyone can be a Golden Bachelorette like Joan Vassos. It’s clear to anyone watching the show — about suitors seeking the affections of the 61-year-old bachelorette — that Vassos knows what she wants.

So, how do regular folks navigate the dating scene when it has changed so immensely since the last time they dated?

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According to Colette Fehr, a marriage and family therapist, new, older singles should try to get involved in their community and activities which interest them.

“It’s an excellent way to meet people organically, whether it’s through pickleball or volunteering.”

There are online dating sites such as DateMyAge and OurTime that are specifically geared for connecting seniors, but Fehr believes that letting family and acquaintances know you are open to dating can prove effective.

“Once people know you’re available, they introduce you to friends or co-workers,” Fehr said.

“This is a great way to meet prospects who are already vouched for and vetted.”

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For those who aren’t very tech-savvy, Fehr suggests enlisting a younger person — whether it’s a relative, co-worker or neighbour — to teach the basics and help navigate digital interactions.

“You may be surprised by how quickly you get the hang of it with a little friendly assistance.”

Fehr said she also thinks that everyone should follow the example set by Vassos — know what you want and communicate it clearly.

“Be upfront about your needs, lifestyle and expectations for a relationship,” she advised.

“It’s better to have those conversations early on so you can put your energy into people who are on the same page.”

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For daters who are older, they have different life experiences and their last relationship or marriage may have ended through either divorce or death.

“They tend to have a greater sense of confidence and clarity about what they want in a partner and are willing to be more up front and authentic with potential partners,” Fehr noted.

“Rather than seeking someone to settle down with and start a family, older people date for the pure joy of companionship,” she added.

“They are free to seek partners who wish to enjoy a similar lifestyle, such as travelling, relocating, or enjoying a shared hobby.”

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Most importantly, enjoy the journey and this newfound freedom, even though you may not have asked for or wanted it.

“At this stage of life, people have more time to focus on their relationship as many are retired or working part-time and have already raised their families,” she said.

“There are so many wonderful advantages to dating when you’re older.”

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